ジェノサイドの長い腕

Adam Jones,"Genocide: A Comprehensive Introduction"（サイト）のIntroducution（参照）から。

Studying genocide, and trying to prevent it, is not to be entered into lightly. A theme that has not been systematically addressed in the genocide studies literature is the psychological and emotional impact such studies can have on the investigator. How many genocide students, scholars, and activists suffer, as do their counterparts in the human rights and social work fields? How many experience depression,insomnia, nightmares as a result of immersing themselves in the most atrocious human conduct?
[...]Even as a latecomer to the Rwandan genocide – and as someone who has never visited the country – I remember being so shaken by reading a massive, agonizingly detailed human rights report on the genocide that I dreamed about Rwanda for many nights, feverish visions of encountering Hutu roadblocks, of smuggling desperate Tutsis to Burundi. . . .
Now that interest in genocide is growing exponentially, and the field of comparative genocide studies along with it, this may be a good time to undertake a survey (say, of members of the International Association of Genocide Scholars) to ascertain how common such symptoms are among those who devote their lives to the theme. Meanwhile, I encourage you – especially if you are just beginning your exploration – to be attentive to signs of personal stress. Talk about it with your fellow students, your colleagues, or family and friends. Dwell on the positive examples of bravery and love for others that the study of genocide regularly provides. If that doesn’t work, seek counseling through the resources available on your campus or in your community.

自分も一時期、毎日夢を見た。自分がそれほど「感じやすい」とは認めがたく、蛇口をひねってそうした感情を抑え込もうとしたが、無理だった。ばかげたマチズモだと頭ではわかっているが、友人に話すこともできなかった。そもそも自分はジェノサイドの犠牲者でも目撃者でもないのに、苦しんでいると告白するのは間違っているように思えた。上で書かれている「話すべきだ」というのは一般的にはそのとおりだと思うので引用に仮託する形でここに書いておく。個人的に話すほうが難しい。